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You Are Beautiful Just The Way You Are

By Sheila Arkee

A devoted reader of Post Secret, I saw this postcard in last week’s post and it’s stayed with me for several reasons.

First of all, I want to reach out and tell this lady that she is FINE the way she is, and the difference between love and being alone has nothing to do with the way she looks. There are women who are considered the most beautiful women in the Universe who struggle with love (see: Halle Berry).

Also, I can kind of relate in a way. For many, many years I was ashamed of my appearance and had a paralyzing fear of being judged by the world. I never wore open-toed shoes and had opaque polish on my finger nails 24/7. Why? I have psoriasis under my nails, and it isn’t the most attractive thing in the world. After many years I finally came to terms with my uniqueness by a group of friends who gathered together to tell me, “Who cares?!?!”

And so I decided to let go and stop caring about what the world thought and did what made me happy, investing in open-toed shoes and letting my finger nails go without polish just because. Freedom never felt so free.

I still get self-conscious about my nails – it’s only human. Sometimes my psoriasis in my nails is under remission and not so bad, and then there are those other times. 

After being sent this gorgeous translucent pink polish to review, I was extremely hesitant to post these photos of my nails as they are. It’s a “good” period, but still … there’s always that little tiny bit of fear hanging over my shoulder.  

You know what, though, this is who I am and I have a functioning body, and arms and legs that work. How can I preach self-acceptance if I am not fully accepting of myself? If other people don’t like any part of ourselves, they can bump off!  For the record, I’m still working up the courage to wear a bathing suit … lol! I’m human, too!

The lesson I learned and hope to share with others? Love yourself. As RuPaul so famously says, ‘If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?’

*Nail polish is Essie’s Blushing Bride and was provided by PR for consideration.

  • Wendy

    AMEN SISTA!!

    Honestly though, I can’t tell that there’s anything “wrong” with your nails.

  • admin

    Thanks, Wendy – we all need to hear this more often!

    As far as the nails – it’s definitely a “good” time – the psoriasis gets cray cray in the winter!

  • http://owlybeauty.blogspot.com Kari

    I too suffer from psoriasis–nails, scalp and random places on my body. It has only been a year since and I’m still in that stage where I don’t want to wear open-toed shoes at all if my nails aren’t painted. I went through a couple of months’ worth of job interviews as well and I was terrified of going without having a couple of coats on my fingers. I did find that upon admitting that I had it, most if not all mentioned knowing someone with psoriasis too–and they still hired me, haha! Just goes to show you that there are still more people who try to understand than those who don’t :)

    Thank you for this entry, you have inspired me to do a “reveal” post as well, when I am ready. :)

  • admin

    Yes, Kari – you are so right! So often we build up these crazy scenarios in our head only to find out we had nothing to worry about! You’re welcome!

  • Dee

    What an inspiring post! Thank you for that! :)

  • admin

    You are quite welcome, Dee. :)

  • Miranda

    I have psoriasis of the scalp and contact dermatitis on my arms. I went a long time where I would only wear shirts with sleeves. I would get asked often, “Aren’t you hot?” There came a point where I accepted who I was and decided if I wanted to wear a tanktop, I was going to wear a tanktop and to hell with those who didn’t like it. We are who we are and no one is perfect, even those that *look* like they are.

  • admin

    Yes, Miranda, you are so right on with your last sentence!