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By Megan Murray

Despite being mostly underwater, Pennsylvania boasts some of the most beautiful fall scenery on the planet. It is hard not to be inspired for fall make-up and fashion when the world around you decides to don its best look. I said hard, not impossible.

A lot of Fall 2011 beauty and fashion looks are abso-freaking-loutley puzzling. I almost feel like my intelligence is being insulted.

Let’s take for example this picture from Harpers Bazaar.

Oh no ladies, this isn’t a starlet doing the walk of shame from Charlie Sheen’s hotel room. This isn’t a picture of someone wandering all Shawn of the Dead into the WalMart for flu medicine. This is fall hair from the Alexander Wang Show. Which Bazaar claims is an “ insouci ant bun that is perfect for a night downtown.”

 1.) Insouciant is a word I had to look up. The word insouciant means nonchalant. The word insouciant could also mean “ up own rear-end.”

2.) Downtown….Kabul?

The next fall trend comes from Allure Magazine.


Pat McGrath, an amazing make-up artist, shows Allure readers how to create “ Spider Lashes.” Spider lashes are supposed to be THE hot look for the season. Basically, you put on a metric ton of mascara and your lashes clump together. No, you read that right…CLUMP. 

After mascara companies spend MILLIONS on mascara wands and formulations that will prevent clumping, someone decided to revisit Heritage USA and the halcyon days of Tammy Faye Baker.

While I love the feminine blouses and platform boots that are all over the stores, the one look that perplexes me is the Gordon Gartrail approved Graphic Sweater.

Last season we saw the return of Denise Huxtable with the slouchy boyfriend jeans and the jump suits. Apparently, we just can’t let go of Reagan-era nostalgia. This season we bring back Dr. Huxtable’s sweater.

This sweater is by CHLOE and costs as much as a mortgage AND a car payment.

I guess the bright side in all of this is that you can achieve these looks with a complete lack of planning and a trip to the thrift store.  Let’s hope spring brings us a return of sweatpants, flip-flops, and mascara smeared down your face.  I am sure I will be the trendiest girl on the block.

  • http://www.jennstaz.com Jenn Staz

    Ummm yes… you’ve picked some really great “umm ok” ‘s… these things are ridic.

  • Cathy

    LMAO at the Gordon Gartrail reference! But I agree wholeheartedly with you on these particular new *trends*. To me, it’s proof positive that some designers do, on occasion, decide to totally fuck with all of us and see who’s stupid enough to bite. LOVE your reviews and your writing, Megan darlin’ :) I don’t want to ever hear you say you’re going to stop, ok??

  • http://www.mybeautybunny.com Jen Mathews

    Hahahaha! Love this post!

  • http://www.retrodivasbeauty.com Meredith

    I couldn’t agree more. Ugly hair is ugly hair no matter where you see it. And sometimes I think fashion shows are just a big replay of the Emperor’s New Clothes. And don’t get me started on the mascara thing. Yuck.

  • Wendy

    I tend to yell at Pat McGrath when I read some of the stupid crap that comes out of her mouth that she considers beauty advice. Spider lashes was my most recent spaz out at her. I know of SEVERAL MUA’s that are a kabillion times more talented and knowledgeable than she is that aren’t in the pages of magazines or doing makeup for fashion week.

  • http://psbeautyblog.blogspot.com Tiffany Booth

    I totally agree with you on this one! :)

  • Monika

    It’s like they’re running out of ideas. They need some new creative directors!